First: BRIGHT COLOURS!
First off- before I address the weirdness in the boob area- why is Kelly Osbourne at the GG?
But I digress. It seems to be just this photo, but there is some odd pointyness in the boob area of Kelly's dress. A million smurfs died for this creation, yet none of their tiny little hands could stitch the bust up properly.
Maria Menounos in canary yellow. I generally dont like yellow, but im digging this on her! I do think it looks a little ill-fitting at the top of her stomach though.
Natalie Portman channeling Marilyn Monroe singing 'Diamonds Are a Girls Best Friend'. I notice like Angelina (who mwe will get to shortly) that she is donning the 'red sash on top of boobs with matching bag look'. Is this a new trend? Quick, im going to need some sashes! Im not a big fan of this one. Natalie has such a lovely figure, and she kind of looks swamped in a giant pink plastic tablecloth from a kids party.
Hi, Laura Dern! I have no idea who you are, or why I should have heard of you. But emerald green and sparkly, I'm on board. She has a beautiful decollatage, and that sparkly v neck trim looks great.
I love the way it hangs- for a long sleeved, floor length gown, or any gown for that matter, there is nothing dowdy about this at all.
Reese, was your hairdresser busy?
Love the dress, this shade of red really suits her. Reese always looks amazing, which is why we can forgive her for this hair, which isnt terrible, but not as polished as the dress calls for.
Oh, Emma Stone. You make me want to be a redhead so, so badly. (Ive heard rumours she is a natural blonde though?) Love everything about this, especially the plunging neckline, and those little glitzy cap sleeves. Elegant, without being boring and predictable. Eggplant elongates her elegant...elephant? Illiterations were never my strong point.
TILDA! Yes, yes, yes!
She will forever be the Ice Queen roaming around Narnia offering small children Turkish Delight to me (wait...now you mention that, thats actually quite creepy).
Hair is fantastic, the colour of her dress really suits her skintone, and the way the fabric twists highlights her waist perfectly.
I love you Melissa McCarthy. I do. You stole the show in Bridesmaids, crack me up in Mike & Molly, and I even recall loving you from your Gilmore Girls days.
BUT. I can only forgive you so much.
Ive never said this before on my blog, but I used to be a size 22. It was hell finding every day clothes, even simple things like a white teeshirt or black pants. And im not talking 'difficult to find the perfect item', im talking 'difficult to find basics in your size AT ALL'.
That being said- this is not the best look on Melissa. Only last week I saw an amazing pic of her in head to toe black sequins, which wowwed me. This? A bit of a stretchy, shapeless, mumu.
From the waist up, another impeccable pic of Charlize Theron.
The colour of this dress paired with her flawless complexion is a dream.
But around the knees, WTF? Its bunchy at the front and flowing at the back, its a mullet. A layered, expensive material mullet. I know you have great legs Charlize, they make me wretch with jealousy. Choose a dress- short or long?! Both is not a viable option! It's Billy Ray Cyrus in dress form!
NO. Just NO.
Once when I was a little girl (as opposed to that time I was a little iguana) my Mum was baking a sponge cake before my Nana came over for tea. My Nana was a farm girl, and cooked a sponge every day for when the workers came in for morning tea. Baking standards were high.
Unfortunately my Mum's sponges were never quite right. They were often more like rock cakes, but dammit Mum was going to get it right this time!
My Mum was lightly folding the batter with a metal spoon, ensuring she didnt overbeat it, or else she would end up once again with one of the afore mentioned rock cakes.
She turned to begin washing the dishes, probably pleased with her efforts so far.
I had been playing with homemade play dough that Mum had made for me earlier. (A fair amount of that salty, malleable gold was consumed.)
I had watched Mum earlier put the food dye in to my playdough. It fascinated me how it took the smallest amount of dye to make such vibrant colour. I figured surely Mum needed her sponge to be beautifully coloured, to impress Nana.
I picked up that little squeeze bottle of blue dye, and poured every last drop into the cake mix.
I started to panic- even 5yo me knew this was a little too blue.
Picking up the metal spoon that was calmly folding the mixture only moments earlier, I frantically mixed, hoping the vibrant blue colour would perhaps fade away.
Sarah Michelle Gellars dress reminds me of that mix. My bottom hurts just thinking about it. Lol
(Incidentally, that sponge was the lightest, fluffiest sponge Mum had ever made, and I will never forget the look on my Nanas face when she spied what looked like a giant, iced Blu Loo block sitting on our bench.)
THE WINNERS IN MY VIEW
Evan Rachel Wood, looking hot to trot! If I was Jamie Bell I would want to marry her too! Loving the dark sequins, mix of different colours, and the plunging neckline that is sexy, without having everything hanging out. Great eyebrows too.
Yes, im going to sing Angelinas praises like every other second person.
As soon as i saw the way the fabric was draped around her hips...swoon. Fits like a glove, and she actually looks a lot healthier than we have been seeing her lately. Angelina looks poised, beautiful, and Hollywood perfection. The flash of red adds a point of interest, and sits high on her collarbones. Im glad this dress didnt have a low neckline too, I think it looks perfect the way it is. Classy.
Kate Winslet knows exactly what flatters her. That milky white skin, peeping out from the black keyhole in the dress, is stunning. The belt and the earrings are delicate and really finish off this dress. Those curves in the white skirt, love em. Insanely jealous. And that perfectly arched brow? I like to think even poised Kate is giving Sarah Michelle the 'Bitch Please' face over that disaster of a dress.
I have to stop here...I could look at these pics all night!!