Chickpeas: They'll get you!

Oh dear.

Just a quick, TMI post (aren't they all around here?)

Lunch on 12WBT today was leftovers of last nights dinner- Spanish Chickpeas with Onion.

I ABSOLUTELY STINK.

I stink, but fortunately I haven't yet turned into a beaver. Maybe that's next.

Extreme gas warning. Feeling thankful that Billasaurus didn't stay over tonight.

Geez!

First weigh in tomorrow though, maybe I can blow away some of this weight, bahahaha.

Op! Op! Op!

I love a good fad or a trend, especially when it comes with a catchy tune.

Heres a little blast from the past- remember the Crazy Frog? No- how about Hamster Dance? As annoying as they were/are they serve as little time capsules- I still remember where I was when I heard that ridiculous Ketchup Song.

 I was incredulous...and then slowly and obediently raised my hands and shimmied whilst singing along in broken and garbled Spanish (a language which to this day I do not speak.)

I said a HEY HA...something something arother BOOGIE BOOGIE SOMETHING A BEAT.

Source

And so if you are one of the 180 odd million people that have viewed this already, please let's embrace it together. And if you have not...well you're welcome.

I present to you, the enthusiastic Korean rapper, Psy.

 

Even Britney wants to get on board.... and from the man himself comes the best quote ever, and my new personal motto-

"Dress classy, dance cheesy."

If only I could get OP OP OP! or Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyy Sexxyyy Ladiieeeessssss out of my head.

You Crazy Little Coconuts

There are upsides to having a blog. I can blab on about things of no real consequence, connect to other blog authors and readers, and spend some good old quality time with my computer on the cold wintery nights Geelong produces so well.

My ABSOLUTELY FAVOURITE thing about having a blog is tracking the way my readers find me. I have been getting a lot of google searches lately resulting in followers, but its the things they are searching for that literally cracks me up.

I bring to you my illustrious list of  Top 3 Google Search Terms to find my Blog so far-

1. PENGUIN ATTACK.

I assume my blog comes up due to this post, but crikey, do people think there are killer penguins just waiting in bushes and wheely bins waiting to unleash their fury?!

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2. SPANKING JAPAN

You want to spank the whole country? Or just hoping to find a resident being spanked? Finding my blog should be a lesson to the person looking for the spanking to be much, much more specific in their searches.

Not quite as office appropriate as the old 'World No 1 Dad' mug.
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3. HAIRY LOVE

Because furries need love too, don't you know. And so do men who are overdue for their back waxing. Speaking of, I saw a man in Daylesford on the weekend at a spa with his shirt removed in the waiting room. (Odd in itself, right?) Anywho, this man was quite blessed in the chest, back and shoulder hair category- to the point I could see the grain of what direction it was growing in, could see it swirl around on his shoulders, and the light shone through it. There was a whole lot of hair going on, which for some reason fascinates me.

I was early for my appointment and am notorious for making inane chatter when nervous, trying to fill awkward silences but in turn making it more awkard by blurting things out inappropriately.

The man caught my eye and I said to him, 'Is this your first time?' thinking that he was getting his back waxed for the first time because it was so, so hairy.

He looked at me with a puzzled look on his face and said- 'No- I get it done every three weeks?'

YIKES.

This wasnt the actual guy. He was even hairier. Lol
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And so, my dear blog friends, looking forward to seeing some more freaky searches coming soon. Oh, the things people google in the privacy of their own home, with the capacity to delete their browsing history.

x

Ugly Jumper Party

It's decided.

A huge thankyou for all of you that made suggestions for a costume theme for my 25th Birthday Party in this post.

I liked all of your suggestions, especially the idea of Uniforms (Unicorns?) or a Japan theme.

Pondering my theme whilst in a dull meeting at work, I realised the answer has been in front of me all along!

At work we have an absolutely lovely middle aged man(ager) T who wears unique woollen jumpers with his suit pants every.single.day. Usually they are 3 sizes too big, have a giant knitted cowl neck in a contrasting colour, or have a knitted button feature on the sleeve. (Yes.)

Sometimes I have a bit of a giggle to myself, imagining that his wife knits them and he has to wear them to work so as to not to offend her.

And then it hit me- an Ugly Jumper Party! (Thank goodness T doesnt read this, and isnt close enough for me to invite to the party. He is a very nice man, just has some dorky jumpers.)

It's easy to organise for my guests- every Op shop has atleast one treasure, they will be warm (no bikini parties for a mid-June birthday!), and has potential to be quite amusing!

Here are some treasures I have found on my quest-

I am very afraid of the Terror Fish

I'm sure my Mum had me wear one of these in the mid 90's. Source

You just know the creator debated on the collar- and if it was too much? I think that ship sailed when you put flamingoes in Santa hats

My Mum would call this one 'snazzy'

Isnt this one perfect for your autumn wardrobes, with the beautiful colours? What do you mean, it's not?

For some reason, this one cracks me up. I think its the joyous skiing splits the character is doing on the right, or maybe just the bright colours. Or is it that if my father was to design the Winter Olympic uniforms, he would most definitely pick this. And would see nothing wrong with it.

Do you think this is a theme people would enjoy and could get really into?

Costume Parties

I LOVE THEM.

Yep, Im that person who squeals excitedly when someone mentions a themed party.

In fact sometimes, I get a bit TOO into it.

Last year Mum had a K themed 60th Birthday party. I went as Gene Simmons, but flat out refused to take off my makeup at the end of the night. After really getting into the swing of the character, I wouldnt let it go! Billasaurus had to literally drag me into the shower kicking and screaming (screaming rock anthems and flicking my long tongue simultaneously) to get the makeup from my face. Only minutes earlier I had asked Billasaurus if he fancied getting it on with Gene Simmons, whilst I posed on the bed provocatively.

Billasaurus is the most patient man Ive ever met but even that was too far for him.



KISStastic! (Please ignore my teeth, I got black face paint stuck in my braces. Yup.)




My hilarious sister Chelle and her husband Ben



My Dad went as a kitchen drawer



Billasaurus Rex and myself



As always, shit got kind of messy towards the end of the night

 It's almost my birthday, and I'm thinking themes for my 25th. Let's take a trip down memory lane costume party wise...





Being a gremlin at Soundwave....



Bizarrely green tinged pirate wench...




Queen of Hearts on NYE... (also the Queen of Drunk Eyes)



Imagine my embarassment when I arrived to the S party and found two other Sailor Moons, who had purchased beautiful costumes from the Internet. I had just sewed some random shit on to a bonds singlet and painted over my eyelids. Oh the shame. And inconvenient having to close your eyes all night in photos, lol.



Witch costume...funnily enough this one matched my personality the most, lol.

...Wow. And that's only in the past 12 months!

Any suggestions for a theme for my 25th? Something a little bit 'out there'?

Gotye Roadrage On

I found this pic on facebook, and it is KILLING ME.

Even driving to uni, I kept picturing Gotye's face on every random driver.

Ive got the silent laughs on- you know, the one where you screw your face up, clutch your stomach and rock back and forward, laughing so hard you dont even make a noise?

Love it when something tickles your funny bone so badly!

What makes you feel like you are going to stop breathing, you laughed so hard?

I Still Exist

I have not forgotten you! Unless my accountant is reading. I have forgotten him lately.

My 72yo father is very proud of how he has adapted with the times and can use modern technology.

He went to one computer class in 98, learnt how to make one calender on MS Publisher (because if you are going to know how to use one program, thats the one) and from that day on has been confidently clicking left, right and all over the place because HE KNOWS HOW TO USE THE COMPUTER. AND NO I DONT NEED YOUR HELP BECAUSE I KNOW HOW TO USE A COMPUTER.

Gah.

So the other week, Dad decides that the modem is looking unwell. He decided to unplug the modem because he didnt like the look of that little light. Surely it needed a reset.

My father reset our modem because of a light that was blinking. That light has been blinking for over 6 years and means we are connected to the internet and the outside world.

Good one Dad.

Now im stuck in an endless loop in between my ISP (who swear they have given me my username and password correctly) and my modem manufacturer (who swear they have given me the instructions correctly and the ISP must have given me the wrong details).

Bah humbug.

So, heres a photo that made me giggle.