I did not get mauled by a bear in 2013

My last post was in February. FEBRUARY. That's 10 months ago- I can count good. 

A lot could have happened in 10 months. I could have-

• become impregnated and given birth to said spawn
• written a novel
• explored a deserted island and convince villagers to make me their queen
• built my own home
• gone on a round the world trip
• stumbled across a scientific breakthrough

I did none of those things. None. Beginning to reassess what on earth I have been doing with my life- I feel the real missed opportunity here is not becoming a queen on a deserted tropical island. I was practically created for eating peeled grapes and being carried around on a golden throne. The most tragic part is that this fact is not acknowledged by anyone else.

So...what did I get up to in 2013?

• Wilfully ignored this blog
• Got excited everytime I got blog comments, only to log in and realise of course they were all spam
• In related news, atleast now I know how that single mothers secret to a flat belly, and the all natural way to increase my penis size
• Moved out of my ridiculous hobbit hole I called my bedsit, and into Billasaurus's house

• Celebrated my 3 year anniversary with Billasaurus
• Went camping twice (trying to be encouraging on the partners hobbies you see)
• Saw one of my favourite bands, Me First And The Gimme Gimmes live
• Went to Soundwave and saw the old faves Blink 182, The Offspring, Metallica, Linkin Park, Paramore etc
• Managed to settle into domestic life without killing Billasaurus or having myself killed by him
• A new niece was born- little Seville!
• I completed my second year of my Bachelor of Primary Education
• I travelled to Vancouver, Canada to as part of a university program to teach abroad

• I went to Whistler for the day and saw snow for the first time

• I tutored 12 students with learning difficulties each week
• I got a new job, that I will be able to start in early 2014
• Survived the Geelong Earthquake of 2013 (Hint: Billasaurus's farts have moved the earth more)

• I accidentally washed my hair with puppy shampoo due to a mixup in my storage facilities. My coat looked lustrous, though.

Now i'm grasping at straws. Best wishes for everyone for an excellent 2014- I look forward to following all of your blogs!

Harvest Picnic at Hanging Rock

My long-suffering boyfriend (it feels weird saying boyfriend, like im a 14yo?) Billasaurus is alot of things- hilarious, patient, kind....but one thing he isn't is a planner.

In January on a random trip to the beach, he asked me if I wanted to go away for a long weekend. Quickly my mind raced to Sydney, Brisbane, Perth, or perhaps Cairns....

In only 10 seconds this is where my mind went when he said "weekend away"

Bill's mind was quite set on going to Woodend. What? Where on earth is Woodend?

Turns out, it's only an hour and a half from home and that Bill was dying to see Hanging Rock in the nearby Macedon Ranges, having gone there as a little kid.

So in January, I repeat JANUARY, Bill said he would plan everything.

Fast forward to this Saturday morning and we were all packed and ready to go. For weeks I had been wondering about what kind of amazing events and accommodation he had planned, but didn't dare ask and ruin the suprise.

This might I add was killing me, because I have to know everything. Lol

We arrive in Woodend, pull up at an interesting looking brewery that the sign said also had accommodation, and I thought I had it all figured out.

Until Bill turns to me and says, 'Should I have booked accommodation? It's looking pretty crowded around here.'

LOL.

The following hours consisted of us driving around to all accommodation places in Woodend, and finding out there mere a multitude of weddings on in the area and something called the Harvest Picnic on at the Hanging Rock tomorrow.

We moved on to neighbouring Kyneton, where we finally found a room at a pretty dodgy motel.


It's funny- in a past life that would have really bothered me, but I have learnt when you love someone you can just laugh and even enjoy the adventure of last minute scrambling for a bed.



And so on a beautiful sunny Sunday, we found ourselves at the Hanging Rock.
I have never seen the film, but have read the book (albeit a million years ago).
Over the years I had heard how haunting and that the silence is eerie...well not so much, because the weekend we picked to go it was hosting The Age Harvest Picnic.

Becayse we arrived quite early, (far too early for lunch, anyway) we decided to hit The Rock first.

No, not that Rock

There are a few different walks you can do- one that goes around the base, another shorter scenic walk and of course, The Summit.

It was a very hot day. I'm not going to lie- I was hoping he was going to want to do the base or scenic walk, but of course I know him well enough to know we were always going to be doing The Summit.

The thing is about The Summit walk is that is almost entirely uphill. Funny that.
There were a few moments I cursed my fitness levels, and also my shoe choice. (New Witchery plain ballet flats proved to not have much in the way of grip on the bottom, which ensured some hilarious rock-slipping moments on our descent.)

Entertaining signage did lighten the mood when the ascent was particular sweat-inducing

 

The effort was truly worth it however whe we saw the view from the summit.

 We indeed picked the perfect day- during our climb we could hear the band playing on the ground below, and when we were finished up we perused the gourmet food markets, had some lunch and enjoyed a well-earnt beer.

Have you been to Hanging Rock? We recommend it!

(My muscles are a little bit stiff today, but it was so worth it!)

Exams on a Public Holiday

Are they entirely necessary?!

I'm off for three hours answering questions on ecology and the environment. After that, I don't give a crap what a primary producer or parasitoid is, and I certainly have no inclination to worry about the population density of herbivores in the savannah.

Boo hoo, whinge, whine.

Trenery/End of Trimester

Settle down people, I'm not pregnant. Although, I would feel better about my recent holiday weight gain if I atleast had a baby to blame it on! Food baby does not count.

I'm talking end of Trimester at uni. Deakin are special like that- we have trimesters instead of semesters. In all of the brochures they talk this up like 'Get your degree quicker at Deakin! Do a summer trimester!' but it's fuck all usefullness if your course doesnt offer any units in the summer trimester.

Anywho.

It's almost the end of Trimester 1 for the year. It also marks the end of my first complete year at uni! I did things the wonky way and started the Bachelor of Primary Education mid year 2011, essentially turning a 4 year degree into a 4 and a half year degree because they changed the course structure at the beginning of 2012. It feels like I still have foreeeever to go!

So to celebrate (read: I randomly felt like shopping and am using this event as an excuse) I have purchased the following from Trenery- (and when I say bought I mean put on lay-buy with the minimum deposit, because I'm a poor uni student)


Erika Ostrich Embossed Tote from Trenery


I love a good bag, and my reasoning on this one is-

• I don't have any brown bags
• I don't have any bags big enough to fit all of my uni books
• This bag will match my brown or black leather boots for winter
• I wanted it

The ostrich leather is very soft.This bag is not my usual taste, I am generally a fan of black everything. Time to branch out, and lets face it, this is much less drastic than bungee jumping.

I did have to stop myself from purchasing the following-



Zig Zag Scarf from Trenery

Basket Weave Scarf from Trenery

It's funny- the unit I despised all trimester (Analysing Childrens Literature) is the one I have received the best marks in and have decided to continue on with as an elective. The marks I earnt didnt come easy, and I was really forced to sharpen my essay writing skills for my tough tutor.

But for now....it's holiday time.

Did I mention I am going on a cruise to Singapore, Malaysia and Thailand? I am.

My niece turned 18 in March, so 3 of my sisters and myself are all celebrating with her and going cruising for a week. Only a little trip, but am feeling very lucky to be going on it, especially since Ive barely unpacked from Japan.

Not bad for an end of uni reward, hey?

x

Sakura in Spring

When I first started planning my trip to Japan, I just knew I had to go during Cherry Blossom (sakura) season.

WARNING: Things are going to get pic heavy around here

It was highly inconvenient. Taking a two and a half week trip right in the middle of the semester at uni was going to be problematic- I would have to take my uni stuff with me and submit two assignments whilst on my holiday.

But to go all the way to Japan and not see the Cherry Blossoms, not even once? Wasnt going to happen.

After the Tokyo leg of my tour (the first round anyway) Kyoto was an absolute breath of fresh air. It's still busy, but not as congested as Tokyo, and there are gorgeous green parks everywhere. Whilst I am very fond of the craziness that is Tokyo, Kyoto was the perfect place to see the natural beauty in Japan.

My destination for hanami (cherry blossom viewing) was the Kyoto Imperial Palace Gardens. The gardens are HUGE and there was no way I was going to be able to see it in all its glory. I did not do a tour of the palace, as I did not realise you had to put your name down on a list prior to the tour day. No big deal- it was still a sight to behold just looking at the big old gates!

Kyoto Imperial Palace Gates
Source: Wikipedia

The palace tour will have to be better organised on my next trip to Japan! From what I heard it is very interesting. It has nightingale floors, which means that the Emporer could hear anyone sneaking about to potentially murder him in his sleep!

Wouldnt that be handy in your own home? Admittedly, I dont have to thwart too many assassination attempts, but you never do know! Plus,  I would only hear my Pug traipsing around the house at all hours, lol.

The whole North section of the gardens is where all the cherry blossoms are, and it is by far the busiest section of the park. I love that even the Kyoto locals get really excited when the cherry blossom are out- strangers that could speak very little English would approach me and ask if I was going to see the sakura.

The outside of the North section of the Imperial Palace Gardens...cherry blossoms await inside!

Cherry Blossoms range from the brightest of reds, a million variations on pink, all the way to white

This diorama shows exactly how big the gardens are! Each button gave information about a certain section...of course it was in Japanese so I didnt take a whole lot in. Lol

I saw this bike parked next to the cherry blossoms, whilst the owner was snapping photos. I've never seen a bike with a cat carrier before! If you look inside the basket there is even a little pooper scooper :)

Do you know how hard it is to take a self portrait with a big heavy DSLR, that gets both yourself AND the cherry blossoms in the frame? Not easy.

There were families having picnics under the cherry blossoms everywhere. I felt a little twinge of homesickness!



Woman posing for photo under blossoms

What a beautiful place for wedding photos!

The bride was lovely enough to let me take a quick snap on my way past

There were so many families out and about enjoying the park

I fell in love with this little champ. He was SO STRONG...he was the one who let his walker know exactly where he wanted to go

Who can resist a sausage dog?



This is my favourite photo. I love how the blossom cascade over the branches like little pink tufts of fairy floss

I think I have assaulted you with enough photos. I'm compiling them all now into albums and I must say, I went overboard snapping the cherry blossoms!

Strolling around Kyoto Imperial Palace was a definite pinch yourself moment, I couldve explored around there for hours. I'm so lucky to have the image of a giant wall of cherry blossoms as one of my travel memories.

To those that have lasted to the end of this post- Congratulations x

Memoirs of a Cindy-geisha?

I really loved Kyoto.

Kyoto is the Japan you imagine in your dreams- old-style houses with tatami mats, narrow cobbled streets lined with cherry-blossoms, and geishas slipping from one appointment to the next.

Always fascinated in Japanese culture, I have read a lot of books about the mysterious geisha (or geiko as they are called in Kyoto), the famed Memoirs of a Geisha (a work of fiction) and another called Geisha by Liza Dalby, an account of an American woman who worked and lived alongside geishas in the 70's.

Something about the painted faces, their elegance, and the elaborately beautiful kimonos has always gotten me...and so when I went to Japan I wanted in! (Or as in as uncoordinated chubby Australian is ever going to get!)

Signage in front of Maiko. Not a word of English, but easily worked through

My trusty Lonely Planet guide recommended a company called Maica, who specialise in the geiko and maiko makeover experience. A maiko is an apprentice geisha, which many non-Japanese get mixed up. The image of the geiko in bright kimono with flowers in her hair is stunning, but is more likely to be a maiko. Geiko tend to have a more subdued appearance, with muted colours and less adornments.

Maica is quite easy to spot, despite not having a street number

I did a little bit of a double take when there was only an intercom to communicate- when I pressed the button a Japanese sing-song voice spoke a mile a minute whilst I stood there looking baffled. Luckily, the lady of the house heard my pathetic little "Hello?" took pity on me, and collected me from the front door.

The lovely woman (I wish her name, but it was very difficult to find out with no common language!) was very warm and welcoming, and made it clear what she needed from me with her pointing and hand gestures. The whole process was very smooth.

Sexy cotton robe I was to wear over my undergrunds

The first step was makeup. The woman led me into the very narrow, creaky old building with three stories of winding stairs (with no handrails). Even the steps were super narrow, and I felt like a giant bull in a china shop, lol.

The white makeup basewas very, very thick. It was thicker than the pancake I recognise from dancing, and the Kroyolan I have at home for costume parties. I had moisturiser on but I could just tell that this was going to be a tough job to get off my face! The makeup itself was very oily, and reminded me of the oil paintings I paint on canvas at home.

I found it interesting that there was only a tiny touch of red on my top lip- most of my top lip was went over with the white base, and then the bottom was highlighted.

Ironically the pink eyebrows matched my hair for the first time ever

Next step was the dressing room, which was kind of intense. No photos for this process, it was arduous by all accounts, lol.

Have you ever been on school camp and when it came to pack up time, became frustrated that your sleeping bag was not fitting in its case, so you stuff it in haphazardly?

Yeah. I was the sleeping bag being stuffed into a kimono. Stuffed in by tiny Japanese women, the heaviest of which probably weighed 50kg. (When wet.)

There were 3 (!) women grabbing here, grabbing there, one holding an obi (Japanese sash) tie, one with her hand inside my cotton robe pressing down on my boobs to keep them flat, and another behind trying to secure it all in.

It wasn't so much that I was too fat for the kimono (they are kind of a free size situation) it was just that there are so many layers, things to tie, and bits to keep hidden under the final kimono layer.

In the end the kimono was very tight and the lady kept asking me if I was ok. I think she thought I was going to faint or something, but all I could think of was 'This is nothing compared to the first time I wore Spanx!'

I will also mention that if you have a chubby round face, and a double (or triple?) chin you are trying to draw attention from, a slicked back hairdo and white face paint is not going to do you any favours, lol.

A maiko emerges from the dressing experience

After I was dressed we had a photo-shoot inside for the professional shots I could purchase. To be honest, most of them are so stiff (in terms of how they have posed me) I'm not that keen on them. I did get some hilarious stickers, which are so small its impossible to tell that I'm not a real maiko.

My hair was combed over what they call a semi-wig. The semi-wig was exceptionally heavy and I felt like I couldnt move my head too quickly or I would lose the whole lot. Did you ever try to balance books on your head as a kid? It felt like that.

Instead of just having hair on the semi-wig there were like 3 waxy blocks covered in hair, that they then took my hair and brushed into it before securing the whole 'do with some pins and flower clips.

Source: Maica

I kinda like how my pink hair matches me outfit! All of the photos of Japanese women getting the makeover have the black hair that matches- im not sure what they would do if I was a blonde. Maybe they would then offer the full wig? (I spied one in the shelf where they had my wig, but it didnt look nearly as good as the semi-wigs.)

Mock tea ceremony

I thought it was really helpful that the team at Maica let you take photos with your own camera. Because I was all on my lonesome, they even acted as a photographer for me, which I thought was really kind!

There are all kind of mock traditional setups inside the building for posing. I felt very silly, but how often am I going to be dressed as a maiko in Kyoto?!

My new photography assistant even took me outside, to get authentic photos in Gion. Gion is the tradional Geiko quarters in Kyoto, and much of the old architecture remains. I truly felt like a real geiko hobbling around those streets.

Oh yes, hobbling. Ever worn camel socks, and balanced on wooden clogs that have an exceptionally small base but a very high platform? Oh, and they were about an Australian size 5 (if even that.) My shoe size is normally 8.5.

The photographer kept making odd movements indicating for me to look in the distance, tilt my head etc. Most of these photos I just look kind of confused, lol.

Shit. I know that I'm short (5'2 :( ) but holy crap this photo really makes it obvious haha. Can you see my feet handing over the base of the shoes? The little bit of skin showing is supposed to be alluring- the only little bit of flesh visible. Certainly classier than getting my cans out.

 Just before my Maiko experience in Kyoto was over, an older Japanese woman ran up to me and tapped me on the shoulder and beamed at me-

'Pretty! Pretty! Gaijin Green eye geiko!' (Gaijin means non-Japanese or foreigner.)

She then giggled and ran away!

Lol?