You Crazy Little Coconuts

There are upsides to having a blog. I can blab on about things of no real consequence, connect to other blog authors and readers, and spend some good old quality time with my computer on the cold wintery nights Geelong produces so well.

My ABSOLUTELY FAVOURITE thing about having a blog is tracking the way my readers find me. I have been getting a lot of google searches lately resulting in followers, but its the things they are searching for that literally cracks me up.

I bring to you my illustrious list of  Top 3 Google Search Terms to find my Blog so far-

1. PENGUIN ATTACK.

I assume my blog comes up due to this post, but crikey, do people think there are killer penguins just waiting in bushes and wheely bins waiting to unleash their fury?!

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2. SPANKING JAPAN

You want to spank the whole country? Or just hoping to find a resident being spanked? Finding my blog should be a lesson to the person looking for the spanking to be much, much more specific in their searches.

Not quite as office appropriate as the old 'World No 1 Dad' mug.
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3. HAIRY LOVE

Because furries need love too, don't you know. And so do men who are overdue for their back waxing. Speaking of, I saw a man in Daylesford on the weekend at a spa with his shirt removed in the waiting room. (Odd in itself, right?) Anywho, this man was quite blessed in the chest, back and shoulder hair category- to the point I could see the grain of what direction it was growing in, could see it swirl around on his shoulders, and the light shone through it. There was a whole lot of hair going on, which for some reason fascinates me.

I was early for my appointment and am notorious for making inane chatter when nervous, trying to fill awkward silences but in turn making it more awkard by blurting things out inappropriately.

The man caught my eye and I said to him, 'Is this your first time?' thinking that he was getting his back waxed for the first time because it was so, so hairy.

He looked at me with a puzzled look on his face and said- 'No- I get it done every three weeks?'

YIKES.

This wasnt the actual guy. He was even hairier. Lol
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And so, my dear blog friends, looking forward to seeing some more freaky searches coming soon. Oh, the things people google in the privacy of their own home, with the capacity to delete their browsing history.

x

Fifty Shades of Followers & a Giveaway!

 Holy moly, I've got 50 followers. And I haven't had to pay for any of them!

Thank-you to everyone who has read, commented, engaged with, or merely glanced at one of my posts. I genuinely thought that I would be the only one to poke around here in this odd little corner of the interwebs.

To celebrate, why not have a giveaway? I've been lucky enough to win one from the fantastic Aly (see this post) in my short blogging career, so it's time to pay it forward.

UboA FIFTY FOLLOWERS GIVEAWAY

THE GOODS

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1 x Glasshouse Mini Candle in Mimosa & Wild Apple

5 x ulta3 nail colours in the following shades- Lollypop Lilac, Pepper Pot, Pink Colada, Watermelon, and Fire
1 x NYC Nail Colour in Red Sparkle

1 x Kikki K A5 Black Leather Journal

1 x Canmake Colourful Nails glitter nail polish, direct from Japan

1 x Perfect Automatic Liner by Majolica Majorca (a Shiseido brand), direct from Japan
1 x roll of Washi Kamoi paper decorative adhesive tape, direct from 12 story stationary shop in Japan

1 x Pair of Teddy Bear Chopsticks, direct from Japan

1 x Authentic Ugly Jumper from my Ugly Jumper Party (it has been laundered!)

You didnt think I'd show you the whole hideousness that is my jumper before the party, did you?

1 x Worlds Tiniest Diary direct from 12 story stationary shop in Japan

1 x pack of Sanrio Pochacco stickers, direct from 12 story stationary shop in Japan

                    THE RULES... because there is always a catch

1. You must be a follower using GFC. That's Google Friend Connect- if you are looking for a place to follow the Global Financial Crisis you are way off path.

2. You must leave a comment. None of this 'I commented!!!' bullshit either.

3. Your comment needs to contain what you enjoy about this little blog, and what you would like to read about in the future. Keen on food reviews of all the haggis spots in Melbourne? Wanting a makeup tutorial on how to get Mimi from The Drew Carey Show's look? Or do you just need a blog where you can read about the mating habits of arachnids? This is your time to suggest what you would like to read about. Constructive criticism as always, is welcome.

4. If you are the winner, you must take a photo of yourself in the Ugly Jumper and email it in to be featured on this blog. You don't have to show your face, your head, or even your whole body, but I do want you to join in the Ugly Jumper Festivities.  And let's face it- you know you want to.

5. Open to Australian residents only. Sorry non-Aussie readers!

6. If you dont have a blog of your own where I can contact you, please leave your email address. If you are a Vogue Forums member, a username would be fine as well. Just please leave something so I can get in touch if you are the winner!

Now, please enter.

 Save me the embarassment of having to tell my Mum I write a blog, just so I can gain one entry. She's already seen the hideous jumper, and has been eyeing it off for her wardrobe. She's fashionable like that.

x

Sakura in Spring

When I first started planning my trip to Japan, I just knew I had to go during Cherry Blossom (sakura) season.

WARNING: Things are going to get pic heavy around here

It was highly inconvenient. Taking a two and a half week trip right in the middle of the semester at uni was going to be problematic- I would have to take my uni stuff with me and submit two assignments whilst on my holiday.

But to go all the way to Japan and not see the Cherry Blossoms, not even once? Wasnt going to happen.

After the Tokyo leg of my tour (the first round anyway) Kyoto was an absolute breath of fresh air. It's still busy, but not as congested as Tokyo, and there are gorgeous green parks everywhere. Whilst I am very fond of the craziness that is Tokyo, Kyoto was the perfect place to see the natural beauty in Japan.

My destination for hanami (cherry blossom viewing) was the Kyoto Imperial Palace Gardens. The gardens are HUGE and there was no way I was going to be able to see it in all its glory. I did not do a tour of the palace, as I did not realise you had to put your name down on a list prior to the tour day. No big deal- it was still a sight to behold just looking at the big old gates!

Kyoto Imperial Palace Gates
Source: Wikipedia

The palace tour will have to be better organised on my next trip to Japan! From what I heard it is very interesting. It has nightingale floors, which means that the Emporer could hear anyone sneaking about to potentially murder him in his sleep!

Wouldnt that be handy in your own home? Admittedly, I dont have to thwart too many assassination attempts, but you never do know! Plus,  I would only hear my Pug traipsing around the house at all hours, lol.

The whole North section of the gardens is where all the cherry blossoms are, and it is by far the busiest section of the park. I love that even the Kyoto locals get really excited when the cherry blossom are out- strangers that could speak very little English would approach me and ask if I was going to see the sakura.

The outside of the North section of the Imperial Palace Gardens...cherry blossoms await inside!

Cherry Blossoms range from the brightest of reds, a million variations on pink, all the way to white

This diorama shows exactly how big the gardens are! Each button gave information about a certain section...of course it was in Japanese so I didnt take a whole lot in. Lol

I saw this bike parked next to the cherry blossoms, whilst the owner was snapping photos. I've never seen a bike with a cat carrier before! If you look inside the basket there is even a little pooper scooper :)

Do you know how hard it is to take a self portrait with a big heavy DSLR, that gets both yourself AND the cherry blossoms in the frame? Not easy.

There were families having picnics under the cherry blossoms everywhere. I felt a little twinge of homesickness!



Woman posing for photo under blossoms

What a beautiful place for wedding photos!

The bride was lovely enough to let me take a quick snap on my way past

There were so many families out and about enjoying the park

I fell in love with this little champ. He was SO STRONG...he was the one who let his walker know exactly where he wanted to go

Who can resist a sausage dog?



This is my favourite photo. I love how the blossom cascade over the branches like little pink tufts of fairy floss

I think I have assaulted you with enough photos. I'm compiling them all now into albums and I must say, I went overboard snapping the cherry blossoms!

Strolling around Kyoto Imperial Palace was a definite pinch yourself moment, I couldve explored around there for hours. I'm so lucky to have the image of a giant wall of cherry blossoms as one of my travel memories.

To those that have lasted to the end of this post- Congratulations x

Memoirs of a Cindy-geisha?

I really loved Kyoto.

Kyoto is the Japan you imagine in your dreams- old-style houses with tatami mats, narrow cobbled streets lined with cherry-blossoms, and geishas slipping from one appointment to the next.

Always fascinated in Japanese culture, I have read a lot of books about the mysterious geisha (or geiko as they are called in Kyoto), the famed Memoirs of a Geisha (a work of fiction) and another called Geisha by Liza Dalby, an account of an American woman who worked and lived alongside geishas in the 70's.

Something about the painted faces, their elegance, and the elaborately beautiful kimonos has always gotten me...and so when I went to Japan I wanted in! (Or as in as uncoordinated chubby Australian is ever going to get!)

Signage in front of Maiko. Not a word of English, but easily worked through

My trusty Lonely Planet guide recommended a company called Maica, who specialise in the geiko and maiko makeover experience. A maiko is an apprentice geisha, which many non-Japanese get mixed up. The image of the geiko in bright kimono with flowers in her hair is stunning, but is more likely to be a maiko. Geiko tend to have a more subdued appearance, with muted colours and less adornments.

Maica is quite easy to spot, despite not having a street number

I did a little bit of a double take when there was only an intercom to communicate- when I pressed the button a Japanese sing-song voice spoke a mile a minute whilst I stood there looking baffled. Luckily, the lady of the house heard my pathetic little "Hello?" took pity on me, and collected me from the front door.

The lovely woman (I wish her name, but it was very difficult to find out with no common language!) was very warm and welcoming, and made it clear what she needed from me with her pointing and hand gestures. The whole process was very smooth.

Sexy cotton robe I was to wear over my undergrunds

The first step was makeup. The woman led me into the very narrow, creaky old building with three stories of winding stairs (with no handrails). Even the steps were super narrow, and I felt like a giant bull in a china shop, lol.

The white makeup basewas very, very thick. It was thicker than the pancake I recognise from dancing, and the Kroyolan I have at home for costume parties. I had moisturiser on but I could just tell that this was going to be a tough job to get off my face! The makeup itself was very oily, and reminded me of the oil paintings I paint on canvas at home.

I found it interesting that there was only a tiny touch of red on my top lip- most of my top lip was went over with the white base, and then the bottom was highlighted.

Ironically the pink eyebrows matched my hair for the first time ever

Next step was the dressing room, which was kind of intense. No photos for this process, it was arduous by all accounts, lol.

Have you ever been on school camp and when it came to pack up time, became frustrated that your sleeping bag was not fitting in its case, so you stuff it in haphazardly?

Yeah. I was the sleeping bag being stuffed into a kimono. Stuffed in by tiny Japanese women, the heaviest of which probably weighed 50kg. (When wet.)

There were 3 (!) women grabbing here, grabbing there, one holding an obi (Japanese sash) tie, one with her hand inside my cotton robe pressing down on my boobs to keep them flat, and another behind trying to secure it all in.

It wasn't so much that I was too fat for the kimono (they are kind of a free size situation) it was just that there are so many layers, things to tie, and bits to keep hidden under the final kimono layer.

In the end the kimono was very tight and the lady kept asking me if I was ok. I think she thought I was going to faint or something, but all I could think of was 'This is nothing compared to the first time I wore Spanx!'

I will also mention that if you have a chubby round face, and a double (or triple?) chin you are trying to draw attention from, a slicked back hairdo and white face paint is not going to do you any favours, lol.

A maiko emerges from the dressing experience

After I was dressed we had a photo-shoot inside for the professional shots I could purchase. To be honest, most of them are so stiff (in terms of how they have posed me) I'm not that keen on them. I did get some hilarious stickers, which are so small its impossible to tell that I'm not a real maiko.

My hair was combed over what they call a semi-wig. The semi-wig was exceptionally heavy and I felt like I couldnt move my head too quickly or I would lose the whole lot. Did you ever try to balance books on your head as a kid? It felt like that.

Instead of just having hair on the semi-wig there were like 3 waxy blocks covered in hair, that they then took my hair and brushed into it before securing the whole 'do with some pins and flower clips.

Source: Maica

I kinda like how my pink hair matches me outfit! All of the photos of Japanese women getting the makeover have the black hair that matches- im not sure what they would do if I was a blonde. Maybe they would then offer the full wig? (I spied one in the shelf where they had my wig, but it didnt look nearly as good as the semi-wigs.)

Mock tea ceremony

I thought it was really helpful that the team at Maica let you take photos with your own camera. Because I was all on my lonesome, they even acted as a photographer for me, which I thought was really kind!

There are all kind of mock traditional setups inside the building for posing. I felt very silly, but how often am I going to be dressed as a maiko in Kyoto?!

My new photography assistant even took me outside, to get authentic photos in Gion. Gion is the tradional Geiko quarters in Kyoto, and much of the old architecture remains. I truly felt like a real geiko hobbling around those streets.

Oh yes, hobbling. Ever worn camel socks, and balanced on wooden clogs that have an exceptionally small base but a very high platform? Oh, and they were about an Australian size 5 (if even that.) My shoe size is normally 8.5.

The photographer kept making odd movements indicating for me to look in the distance, tilt my head etc. Most of these photos I just look kind of confused, lol.

Shit. I know that I'm short (5'2 :( ) but holy crap this photo really makes it obvious haha. Can you see my feet handing over the base of the shoes? The little bit of skin showing is supposed to be alluring- the only little bit of flesh visible. Certainly classier than getting my cans out.

 Just before my Maiko experience in Kyoto was over, an older Japanese woman ran up to me and tapped me on the shoulder and beamed at me-

'Pretty! Pretty! Gaijin Green eye geiko!' (Gaijin means non-Japanese or foreigner.)

She then giggled and ran away!

Lol?

You went to Japan- did you just eat fish?! Part I

When telling people I have just been to Japan, invariably the first question is- 'Did you just eat fish the whole time?!'

Ah, no.

It's like asking an Australian if all they eat is steak because you've seen one of those gross Outback Steakhouses in foreign countries, lol.

(Although if you asked Billasaurus Rex if he only eats steak, you'd be eerily dead-on)

I ate beautifully the whole time I was in Japan, despite speaking much Japanese. In fact as a whole I got by only knowing Hello, Goodbye, Excuse Me, Bathroom, Cute, This meal was delicious, Thank-you and a shitload of pointing with some hilarious but often undecipherable hand gestures, a la charades.

Alot of restaurants had menus that had atleast a couple of things pictured, and often when I walked in a picture menu was fished (I'm punny!) out from under the counter without me having to say a word.

Yes, I did eat a bit of sashimi in Japan. Looking back though, I probably had no more than I would have had on my lunch break at home! I ate a really varied diet, with some magnificent ramen, tempura, sashimi, rice and egg dishes, and so much more.

On to the photos!

Excuse the iPhone photo. Pork Konkatsu in Hiroshima. Delicously golden, crumby fried pork with a bizarre sour apple sauce blobbed on top. Tempure prawn was so crunchy! Japanese obsessed with shallots.





What did suprise me was the 7/11's in Tokyo and Kyoto (I didnt see them in Osaka and Hiroshima, mainly other chains like Family Mart. It's not to say they dont exist, but the certainly werent as prevelant as in Tokyo). Not only were they everywhere, but inside them was amazing!



They are more like mini supermarkets, with walls of fresh, ready to go meals. At first I was wary, and thought of the icky frozen cheeseburgers at my local 7/11, but they were FANTASTIC! Locals were buying them at a crazy rate, and i'm a joiner, so I did too.

The meals were very fresh, cheap (around 500 yen, which works out to be around $6!) and super tasty.

I ate a fair bit of 7/11, because it was always handy and sometimes you dont want to go out for a meal, just want something simple. They cashiers even heat them up for you!



Intricate and beautiful desserts at Isetan, and the phenomenal food hall



Mos Burger- Teriyaki Chicken


Whoever the precious angel was that told me about Mos Burger-THANKYOU.

(I think it was the fantastic GC Real Estate Girl?)

Mos Burger is a Japanese burger chain, and they are everywhere over there. The burgers look tiny, but in reality are the perfect portion. I had a Chicken Teriyaki burger which was great, the chicken was so moist and tender! (Most is a creepy word, no?)

I googled Mos burger to see if it had two s's or just the one, and turns out we have them in Australia?! Where?!

Matcha (Green Tea) Kit Kats....YUM!

One one of my many 7/11 trips in Tokyo (What can I say, I have a weird obsession with foreign snack foods) I discovered Green Tea Kit Kats. It was love at first bite.

They are bright green, with green filling too. They were really sweet like white chocolate, but with a little of the green tea bitterness so they werent sickingly sweet. Love!

There were also Wasabi Kit Kats (I bought home a gift back for Billasaurus, but we both only had one and then never spoke of them again) and also Sakura & Green Tea (Cherry Blossom). That one tasted a shit load like the plain Green Tea, but with a vague plasticy cherry flavour.

Now I hate to break this to you, but this is only Part 1 of my Japanese food posts. These were just the pics off my iPhone! The shots from my DSLR are absolutely  mammoth files, and crashed my parents computer just from trying to upload them.

Wasn't me, must have been an intruder who needed somewhere to view his travel pics.

X

Things I learnt whilst travelling alone in Japan



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 I'm back!

Have had a whirlwind adventure, a whale of a time, a terrific trip, and all of the other holiday cliches you can think of. Except a romance. Although, I think the amount of time and enjoyment I spent with Green Tea KitKats, and maybe that qualifies as a romance.

Just a quick post today- I need to catch up on all of your blogs! Was wonderful to have some time offline, but definitely missed reading them.

So without further ado (what does that saying mean anyway? Can you have a little ado? I know you can have much ado about nothing, but can you ever just have sufficient ado?)

I present to you my illustrious list of lessons learnt during my holiday- (In no particular order, and I reserve the right to add more as my foggy brain remembers them)

1. If you are on a train in Tokyo on your first day, and the trip seems to be going alot longer than the 1 stop you thought it was going to, and you are then on that train for another 3 hours and eventually see farm animals, you have probably not gotten off at the right stop. You are most definitely not in Tokyo anymore

2. Ice-Cream from a vending machine is delicious

3. Squeezing through a hole the size of Buddhas nostril is best left for children

4. DO NOT I repeat DO NOT approach a man who you have just seen blowing his nose into his palms

5. You will never feel quite so body conscious as you do when you are standing in your undies with 5 tiny Japanese women bustling around you, tyring to dress you in a kimono, one flattening down your ample bosom and the others stuffing your fat into the back like they are packing up a sleeping bag

6. Disneyland is the most overwhelming place ever experienced

7. Japanese people are the most polite people on Earth

8. You will get quite a shock if you bump the wrong button on the toilet control panel

9. Japanese desserts are so intricate, beautifully well presented, and delicious

10. Most of the food you will admire outside shops is made of plastic

11. Dont get the currency conversion wrong, and post boxes back to Australia full of shopping. It will cost you $130 per box, but because you failed to do the conversion properly you will think it is a cost effective $13 and post even more

12. Sometimes, a cab driver will abandon you in his cab with the keys in the ignition. He'll come back.

13. One should duck their head before getting into a cab

14. Travelling alone is frightening, and nerve wracking, but once you get past that you will start to enjoy your own company

15. Although around day 17 you may buy a stuffed lobster from the aquarium and start talking to it, longing to communicate with someone

16. Go on a tour. I didnt. I should have (atleast a day tour or something)

17. There is an alcoholic beverage called 'Japanese Spirit' that is overpoweringly strong. Even a tiny bit in a glass makes the rest of the glass undrinkable.

18. Japanese people genuinely want to help you, and go out of their way

19. Desserts in Japan are often sneaky- what you think is a donut is really a fist sized ball of bean paste

20. 7/11 is great in Japan, you can buy good quality, cheap and filling meals for under $10AUD.

21. You can also buy something at 7/11 called 'Sexy Spray' with a tagline of 'To use when you are on the prowl'. It doesnt smell even remotely sexy.

22. Wasabi Kit Kats are not suprisingly, not that great. Green Tea and Cherry Blossom are spectacular though

23. You will fall in love with the culture, the people, the fashion and want to return desperately

And here just a tiny little sample of the *ahem over 2,000* photos I took....

This is just the beginning of the billion posts you will soon be sick of reading about Japan!

And now, im off to catch up on all of your posts!

x