Be a Mexican, Not a Mexican't!

Please be very, very careful when reading out that post title.

Three of my close friends have birthdays only a week apart, so naturally every year there is triple-the-fun shindig in their honour.

This year, the three amigos decided to (quite logically) choose the theme of the party to be Mexican.

Naturally, my first thought was this costume-

Buy one here. Seriously, live my dream and do it.

Billasaurus, however patient the man is, drew a line at the taco suit. I got it in my head that there was no point in going alone as a taco, because really, who ever just has one taco? Unfortunately he wasn't so keen, and considering ive forced him to dress as the worlds tallest Gremlin before, I figure I'm still ahead.

So instead I went as Frida Kahlo!

I appear to have missed a little something during my last plucking session

The real and magnificent Frida herself-

I love the vibrant colours she used in her self-portraits, and her style. I think its pretty badass too not to pluck your monobrow and 'stache too- why should women feel ashamed of something that is quite normal? What percentage of men actually give a fuck? Definitely not the majority.

That being said, I shall continue to wax and pluck but admire the hell out of people who don't give a fuck.

The night began with pre-drinks at my tiny little flat (single file only, standing room but plenty of booze) drinking simply put, the beverage of The Gods.

Let me share with you this complicated recipe. Don't worry about a pen, I think you'll be able to recall it.

Source

I'm not joking- it tastes like magic and unicorns! To be more specific, it tastes just like the clear gummi bears! Where has this been all of my life?!

My skills with eye pencil drawing monobrows must be my hidden talent, because all night men were whispering and giggling in my direction. It was quite disconcerting, because I forgot that this little gem was painted upon my face. To be honest most of the time I was thinking, 'GOSH I KNOW IM NOT A PRETTY GIRL, BUT YOU DON'T HAVE TO FLAT OUT LAUGH IN MY FACE!!!'

Der. They were looking at the giant fuzzy caterpillar perched atop my brow.

It was actually quite the conversation starter, and there was one gentleman (I use this term loosely) who was obsessed with stroking my monobrow even though there was no actual hair there, and offered for me to stay the night at his residence.

I got the impression he wasn't keen on my despite the brow, but BECAUSE of it. Different strokes for different folks, hey?

Giant 24hrs Externally

BIG DAY OUT.

I love a good music festival. Let's face it- I would even love a bad music festival. The crowds, happy strangers to be met, fantastic vibe, new music discoveries, old favourite performers, the food, the dusty sweaty train ride home....

Did I say I love music festivals?

Cruisy crowd view from our hill

The day started with the way we always begin a festival- the traditional pancake and punch breakfast. Oh yes, there was Passion Pop.

I was very much hoping to catch Frenzal Rhomb's gig- unfortunately we didnt quite make it in time. No big deal, ive seen them a million times before. They are cheesy, goofy, and bring me back to being 15 years old and they were the first remotely alternative band I had ever seen live. I was in awe! Oddly enough I have had a weird attraction for guys with dreadlocks ever since.

In case of getting lost, just find that sign

I ended up catching The Getaway Plan, Bluejuice, My Chemical Romance, Soundgarden, Hilltop Hoods, Boy & Bear, Faker, Cage The Elephant, Art vs Science, Kasabian, Kanye West and of course The Living End.

The lineup was a bit haphazardly timetabled....I was hoping to see Girl Talk despite me not really being crazy into DJ's, im much more of a rock girl. I stumbled across some of GT's mixes and now they are my housework jams.

Unfortunately Girl Talk was on at the same time as Kasabian- brutal. I made the decision to see Kasabian, and am so glad because they were FANTASTIC.

I suppose Girl Talk will sound much the same on my iPod as it would have live.

My bag for the day- not only does it hold everything including the kitchen sink, but it was quite fitting for the occasion

It was a very, very hot day.

Flemington Race Course doesnt have very much shade at all, and the hot sun bore into our skin all day. Suprisingly, this year I didnt burn myself to a crisp.

I highly recommend the Banana Boat aerosol sunscreen, im converted.

On a day like yesterday theres only one thing you can do: Embrace the sweaty, dirty mess you have become.

I renamed myself Sweaty Betty. My fake tanner even reacted beautifull with my sweat to create a gungy tan pool. Embrace- you have no other choice. Lol

Let's talk about Kanye.

Kanye, Kanye, Kanye.

Full disclosure: I'm not a big Kanye fan. Although, I was a huge fan of the 'IMMA LET YOU FINISH' Taylor Swift debacle. Hilarous.

I thought Kanye would be the perfect act to see last, have a boogie to the odd ones I knew (Gold Digger came out when I was only just 18 and hitting the local clubs and does hold sentimental party value to me), and chill before stampeding with the other 1000's to get on the train.

I appreciate his stage presence and costume changes. I thought the ballet dancers pirouetting around him were a nice touch. Even the odd interpretive dancers inside the white sheet werent too much.

He is the most self indulgent, arrogant (although of course that isnt a suprise), self involved performer I have ever seen. Im not saying he doesnt care about his fans- he spent a good 5 mins touching hands in the front row before he even sang one song.

He started songs again, forgot the words and replaced them with DUBBA DUBBA DUBBA GOLDDIGGER, and worst of all played a whole series of auto-tune, low tempo songs in a row that even the crowd members that were fans got bored of.

In between songs he would talk intently about some woman who had cheated on him and being unlucky in love. Im not talking 2 mins in between songs. He spoke for so long at one point, a huge portion of the crowd simply walked away. They werent even holding out for his big hits because his mini-speeches were so God-awful.

Then he perked up and played his more popular hits, Stronger, Runaway and Heartless. The crowd dance up a dust storm and then...he started talking again.

The group I was with had 3 hardcore fans and even they didnt want to stay, it just felt awkward. Even 30 mins later when leaving the event we could STILL HEAR HIM MUMBLING AND RAVING into the microphone!

I like to picture him still there, with Big Day Out having been packed up around him.

He will get an awful shock come Spring Racing Carnival time.

ETA: Oh! Someone who knows stuff about music agrees!



I appreciated this chap's backpack. Zombies!



My friend P on the left, and myself on the right in my sweaty moon-faced glory

My best friend P bought her boyfriend to a gig with us for the first time.

They argued ALL DAY. About everything. Loudly.

I hooked her up with some corn on the cob- it seemed to help.


Whilst storming off from P's boyfriend, we stumbled across the perfect festival spot. It was later in the evening, I had procured some Yum Cha and multiple icy glasses of Vodka and V, and we not only had shade but wait for it... DECK CHAIRS.

I really didnt have anything to storm anywhere about, but one has to be supportive of their friends endeavours. Even if it includes an occasional storm.

It was around this time I began to worry I may never be able to get out of the afore mentioned deck chairs. Im sure it had NOTHING to do with the vodka. Purely coincidental.

I decided it was a good idea to leave a note on my arm for anyone who may find me.

It was all fun and games coming home on the train to Southern Cross, then another back to Geelong, getting picked up by Billasaurus from the station and raving about our day at 3am....but QUITE ANOTHER going to work at 8.30 and training a staff member who on her first day is wondering why her boss is almost falling asleep and slightly smells like booze.

I really owe the fact I have gotten through the day to this MAMMOTH bottle of iced coffee.

And now...to finally get some precious sleep.

One of those cliched 'Year In Review' posts

Yup, 2011 has disappeared. I may be one of the last people in the world to realise this fact, except for those currently in comas, and WOW will they be shocked when they wake up.  (I'm sorry- comas arent funny. Commas, now they sometimes are, when, placed, hilariously. That was not one of those times )



I dont count Jan 1st as a 'real' day. Technically its that one day that my resolutions should kick in, I should bound out of bed, powered by my motivation to my new goals.


The reality is that I awoke on Jan 1st, and groaned. Then sighed. Then rolled over and did a complicated move of groaning and sighing, hoping to incite some feelings of sympathy from my long-suffering boyfriend, Billosaurus Rex. (Yes, I actually call him that.   Patly because it involves his name, and partly because sometimes he is kind of a big oaf, clueless with an iPhone and remotes, and has tiny arms in comparison to the rest of his giant, smaller dinosaur eating body. I kid, I kid.)

                                                                                                                       Source: How Stuff Works with a little detail drawn on!

In my mind, he was looking at me thinking, 'You are the love of my life, I just want to care for you and fluff the pillows around your precious head, and how do you feel about freshly squeezed juice of my home grown fruit?'

In reality, he was assessing the rumpled, hair matted, eyelash extensions half hanging off, maybe slightly drooling, clammy mess.

Finally, after a good 5 minutes of more poorly acted groaning and sighing (An Oscar winner, unfortunately, I will never be), he finally exclaimed 'Alright!! I'll go get you hotcakes! Geez.'

And thats why Jan 1st isnt a 'real' day. I am not equipped to function on that day. And, I gobble hotcakes like a frantic evil gremlin.

So, here I am, finally admitting 2011 is over. Lets take a minute to create a musical montage of the year that was. (You will have to provide your own music, gosh, I cant do everything around here.)

Imperative, Integral and other Important sounding words Events that happened in 2011-

• Billosaurus Rex and I had our first Valentines Day together. It wasnt that momentous. I would even say it was heinously disappointing. Better luck next year, eh.

• Sadly, our family lost a member. Auntie Kassie (really my great aunt) lived a long, fulfilling and happy life, reaching the grand old age of 96. I wish she could have gotten to 100, to receive her long awaited telgraph from the queen- she was a royalist through and through. She was also a self made woman, never had children, and was a true feminist. Im really proud that she was my Auntie.

• I made a huge leap career-wise, and began studying as a mature aged student at uni, full-time. This was a massive decision, one that affects my work (now part-time), my future (hopefully at the end of this I'll be a primary school teacher!), my lifestyle (Im broke), my relationship and friendships (I barely have time for human functions let alone catching up) and my sanity. (I dont have any.)

• I got a promotion at work. Woo for now being responsible for others!

• My sister got pregnant, after thinking she could no longer have children!

• One of my closest friends, K, got married to the most perfect man in the world for her. They met 4 years ago at 5am in a nightclub when were all under the weather, they went home with each other, and casually saw each other a few more times *cough shag buddies cough*,  when she fell pregnant! He stuck around, they bought a house and a business, planned and had another beautiful kidlet, and now are married! I truly believe there is no perfect track or pathway to your great love.

• I saw an amazingly accurate psychic, B. She is phenomenal- everything she said has come to fruition, and although I was a sceptic initially, I know have complete faith in her.

Is that all I did in a whole year? I'm sure there was more. TBH I kind of cant be assed thinking back, lets move to the future of 2012!