I did not get mauled by a bear in 2013

My last post was in February. FEBRUARY. That's 10 months ago- I can count good. 

A lot could have happened in 10 months. I could have-

• become impregnated and given birth to said spawn
• written a novel
• explored a deserted island and convince villagers to make me their queen
• built my own home
• gone on a round the world trip
• stumbled across a scientific breakthrough

I did none of those things. None. Beginning to reassess what on earth I have been doing with my life- I feel the real missed opportunity here is not becoming a queen on a deserted tropical island. I was practically created for eating peeled grapes and being carried around on a golden throne. The most tragic part is that this fact is not acknowledged by anyone else.

So...what did I get up to in 2013?

• Wilfully ignored this blog
• Got excited everytime I got blog comments, only to log in and realise of course they were all spam
• In related news, atleast now I know how that single mothers secret to a flat belly, and the all natural way to increase my penis size
• Moved out of my ridiculous hobbit hole I called my bedsit, and into Billasaurus's house

• Celebrated my 3 year anniversary with Billasaurus
• Went camping twice (trying to be encouraging on the partners hobbies you see)
• Saw one of my favourite bands, Me First And The Gimme Gimmes live
• Went to Soundwave and saw the old faves Blink 182, The Offspring, Metallica, Linkin Park, Paramore etc
• Managed to settle into domestic life without killing Billasaurus or having myself killed by him
• A new niece was born- little Seville!
• I completed my second year of my Bachelor of Primary Education
• I travelled to Vancouver, Canada to as part of a university program to teach abroad

• I went to Whistler for the day and saw snow for the first time

• I tutored 12 students with learning difficulties each week
• I got a new job, that I will be able to start in early 2014
• Survived the Geelong Earthquake of 2013 (Hint: Billasaurus's farts have moved the earth more)

• I accidentally washed my hair with puppy shampoo due to a mixup in my storage facilities. My coat looked lustrous, though.

Now i'm grasping at straws. Best wishes for everyone for an excellent 2014- I look forward to following all of your blogs!