I am LIVID.
Things are going to get heated here, so please be prepared for the full snark.
First things first- I am not a so called 'fat activist', don't write about the plight of being plus sized, and am not a member of the 'happy at any size' community.
However, I am fat. This is not me being self-depracting. I'm a size 16-18 and have bounced up and down in weight ranges for all of my teenage and adult life. Am I ultimately happy with my body? No, I'm not. That doesnt mean that others with a similar body shouldn't be- it just means I would prefer my body at a different size. I'm not hugely depressed about the body I have- whilst I am obese, I am also a kind, generous, and intelligent being who is worth more than what others perceive of my appearance.
I also don't mind if you feel that last sentence makes me conceited- if you can't toot your own horn, noone else will.
ENTER RANT. (Oh, did you think that was it? You're in for a treat.)
I was recently at a birthday party. That's not the shock- I have friends. Don't act so suprised. :)
My best friend P's boyfriend Jay (still with me?) was watching me closely on the dance floor. I noticed he would look at me, and then back at the Birthday Girl.
This is also where I have to announce I am a shithouse dancer. It doesnt stop me from getting up on that dancefloor, even sometimes being the first one on it, and doing whatever moves I can pull out. Oh the robot, the busstop, gosh even the sprinkler are coming on out. No holds barred- I have a great time too. I look like a drowning oompa-loompa with the flaily arms, but hey, you cant be good at everything, right?
I figure he is just admiring (read: mocking) my dancing so don't really think twice about it. That is until I flop on the chair next to J, exhausted from all of the arm swinging, leg twisting dance action.
"Hey Cindy...." J remarks slowly, leaning towards me.
"Birthday Girl doesn't know she is fat, does she?"
He goes on to explain that he means that "Birthday Girl hasn't clicked that she is fat yet. She is still flirting, wearing provocative clothes, and is loud and over confident. You act different to her- is it because you've been fat longer? You know you are fat and act like you should."
Oh, I see. So what you meant was that because the BIRTHDAY GIRL has put on weight, she should alter her whole personality to match the hatred the general populace has on anyone who is larger than average. She should stop flirting with men, HELL, she better not even talk to them, because she is now not worthy of even friendship or a laugh. Of course she should alter her personal style, and become an introvert because the crux of the matter is that now she is overweight, she should feel a deep shame about her very existence.
I'm sorry- I must have missed this part in the clause when I expanded out of a size 14 and received my official fat card in the mail.
Whilst he was trying to assure me that I act "accordingly" to my size, all he did was push his view that overweight women (Of course, I note his theory mentioned nothing on men, despite 1 in 4 men being overweight in Australia) should acknowledge that they are not only no longer attractrive, but are generally not wanted. Their opinions are invalid, their experiences void, and no matter what unique thoughts or feelings she may have they are irrelevent if men do not find her sexually attractive.
What does one even say to someone like that?!