Op! Op! Op!

I love a good fad or a trend, especially when it comes with a catchy tune.

Heres a little blast from the past- remember the Crazy Frog? No- how about Hamster Dance? As annoying as they were/are they serve as little time capsules- I still remember where I was when I heard that ridiculous Ketchup Song.

 I was incredulous...and then slowly and obediently raised my hands and shimmied whilst singing along in broken and garbled Spanish (a language which to this day I do not speak.)

I said a HEY HA...something something arother BOOGIE BOOGIE SOMETHING A BEAT.

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And so if you are one of the 180 odd million people that have viewed this already, please let's embrace it together. And if you have not...well you're welcome.

I present to you, the enthusiastic Korean rapper, Psy.

 

Even Britney wants to get on board.... and from the man himself comes the best quote ever, and my new personal motto-

"Dress classy, dance cheesy."

If only I could get OP OP OP! or Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyy Sexxyyy Ladiieeeessssss out of my head.

In My Absence

Holy guacamole, I've been busy.

What have I been doing?

I moved house. I am now the proud tenant of a very tiny bedsit, which despite it turning out to have many flaws (of which we shall explore in further posts), is all mine.

What you see below is my spacious, open plan kitchen. And when I say spacious, you know I really mean it literally has no cupboards or a pantry.

(These pics are how the place was the day I moved in. I've since changed things around a bit.)

*My orange benchtop brings all the boys to the yard, and they're like...Wtf is that?*

I can't help but feel that when the last tenant left the cow door stopper she was quietly glad to be rid of the creepy little thing

I may have mentioned previously, the last tenant was kind enough to leave the flat fully furnished. I took over responsibility of the furniture and thank goodness I could get rid of some of it, because alot was broken. Drawers without casters, a smashed glass door in the buffet, no biggie. Especially since I didnt have to pay a cent for it. But there were some real doozies.

The sight you are beholding in the second pic is of my sweeping, airy loungeroom. I say airy, because its not really sealed. I put on a candle the other day and the wind blew it out from outside.

That's my little flat! Tiny, tiny, tiny.

I have an outdoor toilet. You read correctly.

Calm down, it's not one of those drop pits you may have witnessed on long bushwalks or Scout camps.

But it does have a ridiculously cold concrete floor, and sometimes in the mornings I roll around in bed trying to ignore my screaming bladder because its so cold, and I look furtively around the room at all vessels big enough to hold my pee before finally deciding that is disgusting, giving up and doing that weird GOTTA PEE hobble/hop to the bathroom.

I'm classy like that.

Also, my place came free with a hideous shower curtain.

Living solo is a new challenge. Turns out, cooking for one is a whole lot of effort. You know whats easier? Eating hommus and cheese at 9pm in your undies watching Gossip Girl. Uh.... not that I would know what that's like. I was purely speculating.

Also, in a case of last person EVER to jump on the bandwagon, I have started watching Gossip Girl. Oh no, not at the most recent season with all of you with foxtel, but I have been renting the seasons from my local Ye Olde Video Ezy. How reminiscent, how hipster.

The reason for this is that the antenna at my abode is..atrocious. Not quite sure that the issue is there, but I can only get reception for Channel 28. I am exceptionally up to date on Russian news, despite my lack of comprehension on what the dickens its all about. I've also seen enough world movies (aka thinly veiled dirty flicks) to last me a while.

So Gossip Girl Season 1 & 2 and Greys Anatomy Season 1 & 2 have become my new friends. Even so much so that I watch episodes late into the night and wake up thinking, 'Is there enough time to watch GG whilst I eat my breakfast?!'

A problem, I haz one.

But Chuck and Blair! She said I love you! He didnt! He left her stranded in Europe! She started dating a Lord! He FINALLY said it back!

Don't you dare tell me what's happening in the most recent series-I have been so close to peeking at IMDB so many times for future Chuck/Blair shenanigans, but so far have resisted.

Shall keep you updated on the happenings in my crazy little flat.

GOT IT

I got approved for the property! Thanks for all of your tips, they worked a treat.

Whilst I'm here... The GOT IT also refers to the CR Chantal satchel I posted about. Couldn't help myself, I obsessed for days over it and have used it every day since it came to live with me.

Wish me luck for packing, I'm going to need it!

You Crazy Little Coconuts

There are upsides to having a blog. I can blab on about things of no real consequence, connect to other blog authors and readers, and spend some good old quality time with my computer on the cold wintery nights Geelong produces so well.

My ABSOLUTELY FAVOURITE thing about having a blog is tracking the way my readers find me. I have been getting a lot of google searches lately resulting in followers, but its the things they are searching for that literally cracks me up.

I bring to you my illustrious list of  Top 3 Google Search Terms to find my Blog so far-

1. PENGUIN ATTACK.

I assume my blog comes up due to this post, but crikey, do people think there are killer penguins just waiting in bushes and wheely bins waiting to unleash their fury?!

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2. SPANKING JAPAN

You want to spank the whole country? Or just hoping to find a resident being spanked? Finding my blog should be a lesson to the person looking for the spanking to be much, much more specific in their searches.

Not quite as office appropriate as the old 'World No 1 Dad' mug.
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3. HAIRY LOVE

Because furries need love too, don't you know. And so do men who are overdue for their back waxing. Speaking of, I saw a man in Daylesford on the weekend at a spa with his shirt removed in the waiting room. (Odd in itself, right?) Anywho, this man was quite blessed in the chest, back and shoulder hair category- to the point I could see the grain of what direction it was growing in, could see it swirl around on his shoulders, and the light shone through it. There was a whole lot of hair going on, which for some reason fascinates me.

I was early for my appointment and am notorious for making inane chatter when nervous, trying to fill awkward silences but in turn making it more awkard by blurting things out inappropriately.

The man caught my eye and I said to him, 'Is this your first time?' thinking that he was getting his back waxed for the first time because it was so, so hairy.

He looked at me with a puzzled look on his face and said- 'No- I get it done every three weeks?'

YIKES.

This wasnt the actual guy. He was even hairier. Lol
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And so, my dear blog friends, looking forward to seeing some more freaky searches coming soon. Oh, the things people google in the privacy of their own home, with the capacity to delete their browsing history.

x

High Hopes

Have I mentioned I have been temporarily living with my parents?

Now this was all well and good in theory whilst I was jet-setting around the world (not quite around the whole world, but 4 different Asian countries which I feel was a fair effort in a short period) but is less ideal in practice.

My parents are wonderful people, but they are my parents and they frustrate me. They're 72 and 62, so are well and truly allowed to be a touch grumpy and irritable. They are also at the stage of life where their grandkids are visiting all the time, whooping it up loudly every day and making it impossible to study. All perfectly age-appropriate things to be happening in your home.

Source. They arent quite this grumpy, but you get the gist.

Not so appropropriate for myself and my studies.

The problem is, being a student, I quite enjoy paying only a small amount of rent. I'm partial to the measly portion, shall we say.

Realistically, I work part-time and can't afford a whole unit by myself. Or I can- but when things crop up like time to buy school books, my rego is due, or I have time off for work placements I will be in a spot of trouble.

So that leaves either a sharehouse or moving out with Billasaurus Rex. I'm not ready for that quite yet- I would like more time of being a "grown-up" by myself before I hitch myself to someone elses wagon.

Sharehouse is a viable option and looking like the only one until...

I found a bedsit advertised in my local paper ridiculously cheap. Like- $50 a week cheaper than any other sharehouse listing in the suburb that would be the most convenient for me to live in!

After a quick google search on what on earth a bedsit was, and an even quicker tour of the illustrious residence, I have completed an application form and currently have my fingers, toes and all other bits crossed!

Basically the property is at the back of someones home, but with its own driveway and entrance. The only thing I would have to share with the owner is the clothesline- there is even a fence between the main property and the bedsit.

The bedsit is in essence a large bedroom with a kitchen built in there, so space will be an issue but to have privacy? Worth it!



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I can still entertain, but one guest dinner parties only.

What is even more exciting is that the tenant in there in the moment is moving interstate and is willing to leave ALL OF HER FURNITURE! That's right, fridge, freezer, wardrobe, kitchen buffet, table, couch, pantries, breakfast bench stools, TV, DVD Player, computer desk....all of it!

It's not all to my taste, but if its free and I know it fits in the bedsit, I'd be an idiot to knock it back. If some of the items really bother me later on down the track I can always replace or find them another home.

The bathroom is a separate building only half a meter from the rest of the bedsit. It could get VERY COLD in the morning going that half a meter to the toilet and shower, but no big deal.



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It can't be this cold, can it? Even if it can, atleast my toilet wouldnt be pink. And i'm certainly not shitting sticks.

The only stumbling block- is that there were a giant swarm of other people applying. It is literally one of the cheapest rentals in all of Geelong so competition is fierce.

I made sure to call and enquire about the property with the real estate company, and had a pleasant chat with the Property Manager. I went to the inspection with the application already filled out and a cover letter explaining why I would be an excellent tenant. The decision will be made on Monday or Tuesday.

Can you recommend any other tips for getting this property I so clearly have my hopes set on?

Handbag Desperation

Oh gosh, I want this bag so badly.

PROS

- It's the perfect size

- It's made of pony hair and leather, and I don't own anything made from pony hair!
- Could always do with more leather.
- It's in a perfect shade for autumn
- Wouldn't I look jaunty and sassy flouncing around uni with this baby
- It's on sale! $50 off!
- It's the same colour as my hair. Matchy-matchy.
- I could pat my handbag because it has real hair on it. I can't pat any of my other handbags.

CONS

- I can't really afford it.
- I've already bought 3 handbags in the last month
- I have another Country Road bag on layby yet to be picked up
- Where on earth am I going to keep it? Running low on bag storage. Or I was, 6 handbags ago.
- Isn't it  bit creepy to pat your handbag?!
- Is this really a handbag I could wear for years?
- It's not really big enough for any of my uni stuff?
- How do they even get the hair from the pony, or should I not ask?

Thoughts/Opinions/Discuss.

"Doesn't Know She's Fat"

I am LIVID.

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Things are going to get heated here, so please be prepared for the full snark.

First things first- I am not a so called 'fat activist', don't write about the plight of being plus sized, and am not a member of the 'happy at any size' community.

However, I am fat. This is not me being self-depracting. I'm a size 16-18 and have bounced up and down in weight ranges for all of my teenage and adult life. Am I ultimately happy with my body? No, I'm not. That doesnt mean that others with a similar body shouldn't be- it just means I would prefer my body at a different size. I'm not hugely depressed about the body I have- whilst I am obese, I am also a kind, generous, and intelligent being who is worth more than what others perceive of my appearance.

I also don't mind if you feel that last sentence makes me conceited- if you can't toot your own horn, noone else will.

ENTER RANT. (Oh, did you think that was it? You're in for a treat.)

I was recently at a birthday party. That's not the shock- I have friends. Don't act so suprised. :)

My best friend P's boyfriend Jay (still with me?) was watching me closely on the dance floor. I noticed he would look at me, and then back at the Birthday Girl.

This is also where I have to announce I am a shithouse dancer. It doesnt stop me from getting up on that dancefloor, even sometimes being the first one on it, and doing whatever moves I can pull out. Oh the robot, the busstop, gosh even the sprinkler are coming on out. No holds barred- I have a great time too. I look like a drowning oompa-loompa with the flaily arms, but hey, you cant be good at everything, right?

I figure he is just admiring (read: mocking) my dancing so don't really think twice about it. That is until I flop on the chair next to J, exhausted from all of the arm swinging, leg twisting dance action.

"Hey Cindy...." J remarks slowly, leaning towards me.

"Birthday Girl doesn't know she is fat, does she?"

The only appropriate way to describe my reaction to the ass-hattery

WAIT, WHAT?

He goes on to explain that he means that "Birthday Girl hasn't clicked that she is fat yet. She is still flirting, wearing provocative clothes, and is loud and over confident. You act different to her- is it because you've been fat longer? You know you are fat and act like you should."

Oh, I see. So what you meant was that because the BIRTHDAY GIRL has put on weight, she should alter her whole personality to match the hatred the general populace has on anyone who is larger than average. She should stop flirting with men, HELL, she better not even talk to them, because she is now not worthy of even friendship or a laugh. Of course she should alter her personal style, and become an introvert because the crux of the matter is that now she is overweight, she should feel a deep shame about her very existence.

I'm sorry- I must have missed this part in the clause when I expanded out of a size 14 and received my official fat card in the mail.

Whilst he was trying to assure me that I act "accordingly" to my size, all he did was push his view that overweight women (Of course, I note his theory mentioned nothing on men, despite 1 in 4 men being overweight in Australia) should acknowledge that they are not only no longer attractrive, but are generally not wanted. Their opinions are invalid, their experiences void, and no matter what unique thoughts or feelings she may have they are irrelevent if men do not find her sexually attractive.

What does one even say to someone like that?!