Tuesday, 31 December 2013

I did not get mauled by a bear in 2013

My last post was in February. FEBRUARY. That's 10 months ago- I can count good. 

A lot could have happened in 10 months. I could have-

  • become impregnated and given birth to said spawn
  • written a novel
  • explored a deserted island and convince villagers to make me their queen
  • built my own home
  • gone on a round the world trip
  • stumbled across a scientific breakthrough

I did none of those things. None. Beginning to reassess what on earth I have been doing with my life- I feel the real missed opportunity here is not becoming a queen on a deserted tropical island. I was practically created for eating peeled grapes and being carried around on a golden throne. The most tragic part is that this fact is not acknowledged by anyone else.

So...what did I get up to in 2013?

  • Wilfully ignored this blog
  • Got excited everytime I got blog comments, only to log in and realise of course they were all spam
  • In related news, atleast now I know how that single mothers secret to a flat belly, and the all natural way to increase my penis size
  • Moved out of my ridiculous hobbit hole I called my bedsit, and into Billasaurus's house

  • Celebrated my 3 year anniversary with Billasaurus
  • Went camping twice (trying to be encouraging on the partners hobbies you see)
  • Saw one of my favourite bands, Me First And The Gimme Gimmes live
  • Went to Soundwave and saw the old faves Blink 182, The Offspring, Metallica, Linkin Park, Paramore etc
  • Managed to settle into domestic life without killing Billasaurus or having myself killed by him
  • A new niece was born- little Seville!
  • I completed my second year of my Bachelor of Primary Education
  • I travelled to Vancouver, Canada to as part of a university program to teach abroad

  • I went to Whistler for the day and saw snow for the first time

  • I tutored 12 students with learning difficulties each week
  • I got a new job, that I will be able to start in early 2014
  • Survived the Geelong Earthquake of 2013 (Hint: Billasaurus's farts have moved the earth more)

  • I accidentally washed my hair with puppy shampoo due to a mixup in my storage facilities. My coat looked lustrous, though.

Now i'm grasping at straws. Best wishes for everyone for an excellent 2014- I look forward to following all of your blogs!


  1. There you are!!! You disappeared for so long! Sounds like you had an amazing 2013. Congrats on your 3 year anniversary and moving in :).

  2. OMG! Hiiiiiiiiiii! :D I'm a wee bit excited to see you back! talk again in October? :D kidding, please blog more often :)
    Happy 2014 and congrats on anniversary and moving in together! xx

  3. OMG OMG! I got so excited when I saw your post on my bloglovin feed!!!! Blog moreeeee


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